Has the black cloud lifted yet?

No, I am not talking about the weather, I am talking about Jordan's month on CCU (Cardiac Intensive Care Unit). I knew that this year would be difficult, Jordan knew that this year would be difficult but this last rotation took the cake! Of course it was during Thanksgiving and Christmas (which didn't make it any better), and he was at the hospital every 4 nights instead of 5 (boo...), but we were not prepared for what he had to deal with this month.

First of all, when an intern is on call, they are by themselves....only one person on call...in an intensive care unit...sleep in a room right down the hall from their very very sick patients. Then, as Jordan's resident Ewing said,"the black cloud came in on Jordan." He had a lot of patients die, not his fault, just very sick people.

He had one patient code three times one Saturday morning, and another man came in brain dead and Jordan along with some cardiologists initiated a cooling protocol for his entire body (he passed away too). Needless to say, I prayed for a lot of people I didn't know. Then we prayed for a couple of people we did know.

My aunt lost her step-mother to a lifelong battle to scleroderma (where your body attacks itself and as a result your whole body hardens), my parents had two other deaths of friends on the Coast, Emily lost a very good friend in MS, and we remembered a widow who lost her husband this year.

It was a sad month, and I think that doctors feel a sense of helplessness because here they are in a hospital, with every resource known to man, but ultimately cannot save someone's life. I think (I hope) that this month taught Jordan that sometimes things are left out of our hands and that God chooses when to take a life, not us.

So....as of this past Monday, Jordan is moving on, back to a regular ward of the hospital and with him moving on I hope the cloud moseys on out too!

I know this isn't the most positive post, but I hope one day Jordan will look back and appreciate the month for what he learned.